As we enter the fifth week of this COVID-19 virus, my heart, prayers, thoughts, and love is with all of you. I pray you are keeping safe, healthy, and are all looking forward to when humanity can be human again. I hope my blog continues to be something you can use to inspire, hope, and provides you with much-needed entertainment during this time. If I can do half of that, I would consider this a great success! 

Please keep my family and me in prayer, as this situation is ongoing. In writing this, I do not want to promote blame, accusation, or create a side of which to agree. 

My purpose is to show that everyone deals with family issues. No family is perfect, and my perspective is just that. I'm sure my sisters' opinions are different than mine. While I am hurt, my sisters and their families are beautiful, Godly people who richly deserve the blessings they've experienced. I will always love them dearly, which is why I needed to write this.

Despite the damage done, there was hope that my electronic devices would still work. However, looking at the wreckage when the firefighters allowed us access was heartbreaking.

Seeing all my clothes, essential documents, guitars, shoes, and everything else I took for granted earlier in the day was an icy slap of reality. 

My mother stayed with my sister closest in age to me, and her husband, while I stayed with my oldest sister and her husband. 

I always had a good relationship with my oldest sister, who is 13 years my senior. However, in situations such as this, I knew that if the process of situating my mother and me in another apartment were lengthy, I would not be welcome to stay with her for long.

Later in the day (Monday, March 23), the fire marshall report said that the fire started due to cigarettes, of which they deemed was my fault (I promise I will divulge why in a future blog entry, but it's not relevant now). I understand why the "official" report said that, but it lacked evidence (the first cigarette fire in history without any cigarettes).

Regardless, the complex said I would no longer be welcome to live there, but fortunately, my mom was. Making sure mom had an apartment to move into ASAP was the top priority. We had just signed her up with a Medicaid advocate the week prior, so my services were no longer necessary. 

Financially I'm not able to afford a place on my own. I needed a place to stay where I could continue to build on the projects I've established in the previous 18 months (this blog, my website, book, podcasting/internet radio, speaking appearances, sports articles, and church support group). 

Despite knowing I had no place to stay, neither sister wanted the burden of their younger brother. While my cancer diagnosis and surviving certain death were not of my choosing, I am aware that my parents coddled me in many areas. Such treatment caused resentment.

While those feelings are hard for me to accept, I do personally acknowledge the excuses made for me by my parents in specific situations due to my illness, did hinder me. In some areas where I needed to be held accountable, I learned the hard way through personal mistakes later in life that nothing worthwhile comes easy. They deny the resentment exists, but the tension is real, and I feel it whenever circumstances such as this present itself.

While those feelings are painful, I can’t help but feel they are ashamed of me. Having their 46-year old, divorced, homeless, penniless, younger brother staying in their basement (along with my 17-year old Bichon-Frise, Sammy, whom they most certainly don’t want staying there due to his weak bladder) is hard to explain and a source of embarrassment. I’ll get back to this later, but this is the most damaging feeling that exists in this situation.

However, being in the epicenter of a pandemic with a compromised immune system, I hoped whatever reservations there were about me staying with one of them would be ignored until it was safe to be outside. However, neither sister nor their husbands wanted me there. I was not only the reason this situation existed in their eyes but the free ride I've experienced by being spoon-fed my entire life was over.

I hate to leave you all in suspense, but I must stop here for sanity. As I mentioned at the start of the blog, this is an ongoing story. Please keep my family and me in your prayers.

WHERE TO FIND ME

I can always be reached by email (CKMagicSports@gmail or LivingAsACancerSurvivor@gmail). Please see the links below to follow me or contact me on social sites. I welcome (need) more followers and supporters. Please do not be shy about sharing your thoughts.  

NEED SUPPORT? 

Please reach out to me or anyone in the beautiful support groups on Facebook, Reddit, Tumblr, or other social sites.