After my divorce I wake up in intense panic worrying about being homeless and how in the world I can afford to live without any sustained income coming in. I feel constant guilt from not being appreciative enough of just surviving. I should know that life is precious and these things don’t really matter. However, it does. If you find yourself unable to work and do the job you did before treatment and in some cases went to years or schooling for, what can you do?
Letting go of the person you were before treatment and accepting the person you are now can be a humiliating experience that can trigger many negative thoughts. What am I going to do to provide for myself? I can barley get up and walk to the bathroom on some days, never mind earn enough money to make sure I can pay my rent?
Why do those thoughts enter my mind? Imagine being the captain of a boat where you have total run of the ship and are the most important voice aboard. Then imagine that the boat sinks and you no longer have the ability to save yourself or more importantly save others who are looking at you to help.
This is what life feels like when you are no longer in control of the financial pressures of your life.
There is no easy answer. I find myself in that position right now. I wish I had the magical answers and can point you toward a person, place or thing that will make everything easy. There is no such place. You still need to do whatever you can to fight, claw, crawl and force yourself to use your imagination and creativity to reshape yourself to survive. Despite doing those things you are still not guaranteed success.
I pray that God can bless me with people who are sensitive to my struggles and can help provide me with answers I need. I desire to use my story of survival to inspire and spend the rest of my days glorifying God and making a difference in others lives.
REMEMBER THAT YOU STOOD UP
To hear more of Mark’s speeches and find upcoming events click here.
Society makes a huge deal of celebrating select people who “Stand Up 2 Cancer”. I and others like me stood up and gave our lives to this disease and now cannot support ourselves or our family. In addition to the fear of not being able to pay bills, I face a very real possibility of being homeless.
Here’s the thing that survivors sometimes think. The world doesn’t owe us a damn thing. Cancer survivor? Too bad, not my problem. Can’t afford to pay your rent? Too bad. You should be grateful you are still alive,
Many of us feel like we are a drain on society because we can’t support ourselves. If family or friends don’t make a room for us to stay, there is a good chance we can’t afford rent.
WHAT OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE?
If your find yourselves in the position of not being able to afford the place housing, don’t be ashamed. There is help available and you did nothing to warrant punishing yourself. Please ask for help. Don’t be too proud, If someone does not help out, you can apply for income reduced housing with your state. Visit your local social security or social services office for most assistance.
YOU STILL CAN PROVIDE A SERVICE
No matter what profession cancer took from you, never forget that God does not create people to feel sorry for themselves. Each of us are created by a loving heavenly father that made each of us so unique that we are the only ones that can give others our gifts.
Many churches can provide you will a outline that can help you discover what your spiritual gifts are. The experience that you share with others can provide them with hope and direction. Never doubt the impact your life can have on someone else. There is always talents to discover if you are unable to go back to the career you had before. Never quit. God can still use you to bless others.
If you wish to donate to my cause and help in my financial struggles, please visit my website CKMagicSports and click on “My Scars Tell A Story”.
NEXT BLOG DATE: July 1, 2019