This is my first blog entry in a few weeks, so I apologize for not doing this sooner, but circumstances are getting harder to overcome.
Everyone is our society is struggling with how tomorrow will look. Everyone is dealing with scary circumstances. Whenever the unknown is involved, our first instinct is to worry.
Personally, the last six weeks have been the worst mentally of my life. I am scared. I am worried. I have no idea how I will survive.
Despite the struggles, fear of the unknown, suffocating debt, and inability to earn a living, I still find hope in Christ. That might seem passe and old school, but that, my fiance and that tomorrow might be better are what keep me going every day.
While God never promises us happiness or success, He does promise He will never leave us. Some days it's harder than others to feel His presence, but I can't be disappointed in anything other than the lack of success of which I am the cause.
As I write this, I feel a deep sense of panic. I have not eaten for a few days as I'm waiting for the stimulus check to arrive. However, I cannot quit. None of us can.
Writing and talking about sports are what I do very well. Along with writing this blog, my book and talking about how I survived my experience with cancer are how I hope to support myself for the remainder of my life.
When I am suffering sadness, depression, and lack of hope, the thought that tomorrow will be better can usually be a comfort. However, for the first time in my life, tomorrow has created a stronger feeling of dread, doubt, and fear.
I am not a believer in luck, but if it exists, I've had the worst run of it I ever have before in my life. I am sure I am not alone feeling this either, as many of us experience similar feelings.
There is hope, however. Although I can't see it now and each day gets darker, I trust we will come out of this, and all appreciate the gifts of life a bit more. Like never before, I cling to scripture, and these verses in Psalm 27.
7-9 - "Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me; do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God, my Savior."
13-14 - "I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
WHERE TO FIND ME
I can always be reached by email (CKMagicSports@gmail or LivingAsACancerSurvivor@gmail). Please see the links below to follow me or contact me on social sites. I welcome (need) more followers and supporters. Please do not be shy about sharing your thoughts.
NEED SUPPORT?
Please reach out to me or anyone in the beautiful support groups on Facebook, Reddit, Tumblr, or other social sites.
